Saturday, April 10, 2010

procrastination as a virtue

Freud and all the psycho docs would say that I'm passive aggressive and channel my anger toward things that don't pertain to my overall happiness. As soul food, that is not a healthy way of living. That's why I adopted the motto long ago that goes something like live and let live. Period. Don't try smacking me in the head with your money and your prestigious church. Show me some freaking' miracles out in the hood closer to home and I'll jump on with both barrels loaded. I don't see much of that these days. Everybody seems to be blaming everybody else for all the sins ever committed by mankind and there you go. Like my daddy says "It has always been thus and so."

Anyway...back to that P word. It's not that I don't have great IDEAS and such I just don't have the organizational skills to put it all into place. Poops is not a multitasker. If I can focus on something uninterrupted for a period of time, I'll do it well. My problem is I start so many things that never get finished! Reckon that's the dreamer in me. I remember when I learned to sew as a teenager I was all into it until I realized that it was something you had to stick with from beginning to end. Needless to say, I didn't do much of that as an adult. I did, however, spend endless hours over counted cross stitch cloth on a hoop filling in x's and putting my eyes out. I don't care who you are...they're beautiful because they're made by hand.

The entire point of this ramble, if there is one, would be to clarify to myself that I am who I am and those who love me love me warts and all, even when I disappoint them or hurt their feelings. I have never intentionally hurt anybody. Sure I chased Bubba with a butcher knife but that was fifty years ago. Besides..I deserved it because I bet his ass in the barn.