Monday, September 15, 2008

Feedin' Pride

Since Trapper passed on Pride has been finding his way in this world without his best friend to pass time with. That first day he whinnied like a colt in his grief. Slowly, he began to inch out of the barn back into the pasture where it's not so lonely and dark. I know that feeling, don't ya'll?

I got to thinking about Pride and his standoffish ways and it reminded me a whole lot of the men that I've chased after all of my know, the ones who can't be reached or coaxed into any sort of a relationship other than "Me Jane!" Untouchable, to the core. Extra fees on the baggage, so to speak. There's a hook there that feels like a catch who might want to fight a little but get landed in my boat in the end. Needless to say, it's been pretty poor fishin' lately even around the sunken cedar trees down in the slough. Most every guy I've ever been friends with sees me as a girl they'd love to call sis but wouldn't take out on a dime. I reckon that's what you get for being a nice girl in this day and time.

My angel twin only comes out when there's trust involved and I always seem to screw it up by caring first and blurtin' it out like a schoolgirl on Valentine's Day with a wild crush on the cute guy who says hey in the hall. Dude says "that's nice" and runs like hell back to the comfort zone of work or other such pastimes. A shrink would probably say I'm sabotaging myself because I'm scared of doing the work that real love requires. And she or he would be dead on right. Never been good at the casual sex thing or even the eyelash batting.